Amy Winehouse Was Planning to Adopt

According to the Sunday Mirror, Amy Winehouse was preparing to adopt a 10-year-old girl from the island of St. Lucia, named Dannika Augustine before her death....Damn, that kid had it bad if Amy Winehouse made for a better option!

Amy Winehouse Dead at Age 27

London police reported that they found the 27 year old singer's dead body at a flat in Camden Square, north London...Carry on with your weekend medical examiners, no autopsy needed!

Whitney's Daughter Busted Snorting Cocaine

Whitney Houston’s daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown snorted lines of cocaine at a party recently and it was all caught on camera, and the photos will be released in The National Enquirer.....Hey, at least she pays attention to her mom...crack is wack!

Two And A Half Men Production Has Been Shut Down

In the wake of Charlie Sheen's latest radio meltdown, CBS and Warner Bros decided to end production on, "Two and a Half Men," for the season. The decision was based on the totality of Charlie Sheen's statements, which included this gem: "Last I checked, Chaim, I spent close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold."....no wonder he's such an addict, his skills as an alchemist are being overlooked!

Charlie Sheen Refuses Rehab

Contrary to what Charlie Sheen's publicist said to press over the weekend, he didn't check himself into a rehab facility. The "Two and a Half Men" star, who recently had a wild drug binge with pron stars before being hospitalized, has opted to rehab at home...Yup, I've always felt the best place for a crackhead to kick drugs, is at a crack house!

More on People Who hit the Lottery...

Golden voice, homeless man, Ted Williams has checked himself out of rehab the Origins Recovery Center in Texas, one week after checking in....Having a bed to sleep in, and food to eat is an acquired taste!

Charlie Sheen's Crazy Night

Charlie Sheen is heading back to rehab, after undergoing psychiatric evaluation for losing his mind yesterday. Sheen went on a drug bender that left him naked, drunk and laying unconscious in a trashed suite at the Plaza Hotel with a hooker locked in the bathroom. It's being reported that the cops gave him the option to go to jail or the hospital.....Based on Charlie's past mishaps this could only mean one thing for the troubled actor....a pay raise!

Lindsay Lohan's Dad to Open Drug Rehab Center

Lindsay Lohan's father, Michael Lohan, says he wants to open an drug addiction rehabilitation center. This announcement comes just days after Lindsay was released from a court-ordered rehab in Los Angeles....Sounds like a great idea, at least they will now get a lot of father and daughter time together!

Kat Stacks Films Soulja Boy's Cocaine

Hip Hop whore...I mean groupie, Kat Stacks, filmed herself in the Intercontinental Hotel in Atlanta, Georgia, in the room of the 20 year old millionaire rap star, Soulja Boy. In the video she points out how horrible Soulja boy was in bed, as well as how bad of a cocaine habit he has....This will teach him for messing with the rap industry's sloppy 100ths!

She's Baaaack Bitches

Lindsay Lohan was released from her rehab/jail sentence yesterday afternoon. The actress is home free.....Well, this is great news for our country's unemployment rate, drug dealers are back to work!

Jail Bait

Lindsay Lohan is officially an inmate at the Century Regional Detention Facility. The 24-year-old actress was arrested and booked yesterday, around 10am, and was sentenced to 90 days in jail, but will likely leave early because of overcrowding.....Geez, orange sure is a difficult color for anyone to pull off, even with newly pumped up lips!

Loser Lindsay Sentenced to Jail Time

Judge Marsha N. Revel sentenced, Lindsay Lohan to 90 days of jail time, after the "has been" actress violated the terms of her probation in a drunk driving case, by failing to attend alcohol education classes....Well, at least she’ll be alive for 3 more months....Maybe!

And Of Course...

Paula Abdul returned American Idol, proving once again that crack is whack, as she straggled to form a sentence, while saying goodbye to Simon Cowell!

Lindsay Leaves L.A.

Lindsay Lohan and her sister Ali were spotted at LAX on Thursday while boarding a flight to escape Los Angeles to NYC for some peace and quiet to help her image...hmmm, somehow I'm thinking that won't help, as there's still cocaine in NYC!

What a Mess

This photo was snapped of Lindsay Lohan leaving a friend's house recently....you have to be higher than a f*ckin kite, when you don't even notice that the "8" ball has fallen on your feet!

Tweet of the Week

Amy Winehouse took to Twitter to let her followers know that she wants to get behind the wheel of a car bad.....

Amy Winehouse says:
"I WANT. DRIVING LESSONS..an machete BUT.IWANT.DRIVING.LESSONS.MORE. I NEEEEEEEEEED DRIVING LESSONS..an machete BUT.IWANT.DRIVING.LESSONS.MORE> auntie rene more.! i'll pay, you jus come' long fo' craziness."


Chalaire says:
"I can't imagine a world where Amy Winehouse is capable of driving to get her own drugs...but, something tells me she won't even get pass the written test!

Lindsay Bites it

Lindsay Lohan seen here falling harder than her career!

Declined

Mischa Barton had two credit cards declined while attempting to check-out at a Whole Foods grocery store.....hey Mischa, you have to give clearance to more than just pharmacies!

Johnson & Johnson

The cause of death is not official, but severe diabetes is being said to have contributed to the death of Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson.....If only she knew insulin was supposed to go in her needles!

Britney Murphy's husband, Simon Monjack, says he wants answers after the actress' "untimely death" on Sunday....Hey a**hole, you know that autopsy you were opposing?...clearly the actress wasn't the only Clueless one in the relationship!