Review: Clinique High Lengths Mascara

So far, my quest for the best mascara in the world has led me to a lot of crumbly smeary raccoon-eyed days of test-run misery. As I've said a million times before, my miracle lash product thus far is Clinique Lash Power Mascara - waterproof, small precision applicator brush and all-around kickass formula that lasts through sweat, tears and Miami Beach in July.

Recently the fine folks at Clinique dropped me a sample of the NEW Clinique High Lengths Mascara. I didn't expect much since the other (non-Lash Power) Clinique mascaras out there rate a solid "meh" from me - they're nothing to write home about. High Lengths surprised me by being FREAKIN KILLER. KILL-ER.

Cost: $14
Details: The brush is this crazy skinny one-sided comb that looks like a praying mantis' leg or something. But it WORKS. Not only does it deliver enough product to give a glam lash look immediately (not a wussy wispy one) but it does so while enabling you to banish clumps and define each lash with a few swipes. NEVER in my life have I been able to get my lower lashes to look this long and separated.
Verdict: Get your ass to the Clinique counter STAT. I predict a sell-out in the near future!
Side Note: So far it's not on the Clinique site, but Neiman's, Bloomie's and Sephora have

Where Do You Get Your Panties?

Where do you buy your panties?
	Victoria's Secret
	Department Store
	other mall store (Aerie, HM)
	Target
	Other

I have a serious panty purchasing compulsion. I have like 90 pair - some with the tags still on - and yes, I throw out my old ones with regularity. I get mine pretty much everywhere: Marshall's/T.J. Maxx, Forever 21, Macy's, Aerie, and of course Victoria's Secret. My favorites used to be the VS cotton low-rise bikini, but the did away with the cut and introduced a new VS cotton bikini that was supposed to be a lower-rise version of the regular bikini. I got a coupon for a free pair the other day so I grabbed one to try them out. Holy Baywatch Bathing Suit. How anyone can wear these with a low rise pair of pants is beyond me, they're cut up to your tits with a hi-leg opening and suited for the longest ass in human history. Horror. Where should I turn to find great panties now? Help.

L'Oreal Extra-Volume Collagen Mascara Sucks

L'Oreal Extra-Volume Collagen Mascara
Claim: "12x More Impact Instantly"
Cost: $7-10
Verdict: Don't waste your money.
Why: The dry clumps look like someone threw pepper in your face.
Details: My first purchase of this product was the waterproof formula. It left a flurry of tiny black flakes in my lashes and below my eyes after just an hour of normal wear. To be fair, I've never used a waterproof (that wasn't Clinique Lash Power) that wasn't a dry crumbly mess, so I decided to drop another $7-ish at Target and try the regular formula before I dissed it. Same thing happened! L'Oreal generally makes decent cosmetics, so this line is a HUGE disappointment.

Pureology Super Smooth

If you don't like floral scents I'll tell you right off the bat to steer clear of Pureology's latest line Super Smooth, which launches next month. I don't mind a little flower power, although even for me the fragrance is a bit too strong when I use the shampoo ($27 for 10.1oz.), conditioner ($27 for 8.5oz.) and serum ($24 for 2.5oz.) all in the same day.

That said, you can't really go wrong with Pureology products if you have color-treated hair. The zero-sulfate formula with UVA/UVB sunscreens keep the wear and tear on your dye job to a minimum and the natural oils, shea butter and aforementioned geranium all contribute to awesome moisture. The hair masque (an OMG $50 for 5.1oz.) is great too, but the price is a bit much.

Loves It: M.A.C. Brow Pencil

Too waxy and the color clumps. Too thick and your brows look like they're hiding behind the soft-touch lens of those old White Diamonds commercials. Just right: M.A.C. brow pencil.

The twist up pencil is the width of a fine-point Sharpie, allowing you to accurately sketch in the extra bulk your brows are missing without creating a too-dark, heavy deposit of pigment. The design also eliminates the hassle of constantly sharpening for precision.

This product has really revolutionized my brow situation, and at a reasonable $15 I HIGHLY recommend it.

Welcome to my Layer

Redken’s Layer Lift 07 came into salons in April 2009. This non-aerosol spray gel smoothes out your frizzies while its volumizing formula brings out your layers.

When I first applied it, it was a tad sticky but that could just be from my recent onset of self-diagnosed OCD. (Geez, it has been a while since I last posted.) I combed it through my damp hair with my fingers, tousled a tad, and then ran a dryer on cool through my hair for about a minute.

I’m pretty happy with the results. It does help with a layered look, which is extremely helpful especially when you’re a few days overdue for a trim. (Please don’t judge me.)

Get Beach Hair (Even When You're Landlocked)

Since it was discontinued several years ago, the faux-beachifier known as John Frieda Beach Blonde Ocean Waves has left scores of rabid fans high and dry without a replacement. The product has such a cult following that old bottles are selling on eBay at a premium. Don't believe me? Here's an OMG for you: check out the price of ONE bottle on Amazon!

I personally had never found a replacement, but didn't love it enough to pay a 2600% markup. Last month I hit the web to see what former Frieda freaks were using for a beach spray these days. These were the top contenders:

1.) Sedu Beach Beauty Sea Salt Spray ($8.95) was highly regarded by reviewers on several beauty sites as an Ocean Waves alternative, so I ordered a bottle. The coconut scent is vaguely similar, but the product left my hair feeling a tad TOO oily.

2.) DIY Beach Spray:
- sea salt -water -dash of coconut or olive oil
- shake well and spray
I could barely tell anything was in my hair. Giving that a "Meh."

3.) Bumble and Bumble Surf Spray ($22) basically took the cake and then baked another one. Not only is it non-drying, great smelling (although not coconutty) and contained in a portable size bottle, but it serves as a root-lifter, volumizer and texturizer all in one. One spritz and you'll be praying to the hair gods that they never discontinue this one. I love it more than I ever loved Ocean Waves. I'm actually beginning to wonder if the peeps at Bumble and Bumble are the hair gods?

Keep the Brass Out of Your Summer Blonde

If you're looking for a quick and easy refresher for your summer highlights, Redken's new Blonde Glam Color Enhancer is a MUST.

How it works: Once a week I work the violet-tinted cream of the Perfect Platinum shade into damp hair and leave it in for about 5-10 minutes before rinsing. Each use deposits a little hint of toner to counteract any brassiness that may have occurred due to minerals in my shower water, or simple fading of the toner my colorist used. (The product also comes in a Warm Vanilla shade for golden blondes.)

Cost: $17 for 8.5 oz.

Buy It: Find a Redken salon near you by using the locator in the upper left corner on Redken.com

Win It: Install the Redken 10,000 Blondes application on Facebook and add your photo and you could win free samples.

The Old Way: I used to buy little bottles of violet pigment at Sally Beauty and add them to my shampoo, but it never distributed evenly and the impact on my color was not as strong. The $17 on the Redken solution is totally worth it!

Product Review: Model Co Tan Airbrush in a Can

I'm very fair-skinned, and I don't want to look like a leather purse when I grow up, so it's fair to say I've tried a LOT of self-tanning products. My most recent purchase was the $42 Tan Airbrush in a Can by an Australian company called Model Co. I got it on sale, but it was still pricy, and I have been beyond horrified with the result.

First of all - like most airbrush tanners - the bottle claims you don't have to rub it in. Yes, you always do, unless you want to look blotchy. (Note: If you self-tan, invest in a box of disposable thin plastic or rubber gloves, like the ones that come in home haircolor kits, to prevent orange palms.) This product comes out the color of Hershey's sundae syrup, so if you don't rub it in you'll end up looking like a chocolate zebra.

After one time directly spritzing it on my skin and trying to rub it in I discovered how difficult the product is to spread and blend. I got out the plastic gloves and began spritzing it into my palm and rubbing it in from there, making it slightly more possible to blend in the color.

The product contains an instant bronzer, and the tan is supposed to develop over several hours beneath that. I found that after 24 hours or so, there was no hint of a tan and all that was left were two strange bronze amoeba shapes on the front of both of my shins (and yes, I exfoliated pre-tan), which basically made me look like I suffered from whatever skin disease Michael Jackson is claiming to have. A friend likened them to birthmarks. And guess what? After over a week, they still are visible. I've exfoliated twice a day and just now resorted to trying a Magic Eraser sponge. (That has worked the best so far, but now my shins are red and sore.)

Verdict: Total ripoff, awful product.
Instead, try: Neutrogena MicroMist Tanning Sunless Spray. It's about $10 and is the best airbrush tanning product I have tried so far. The CVS brand knockoff works well too, but you'll only save about $1, so go with the name brand. Whichever you choose - rub it in!

The Fashion Show: Review

The basic components of Bravo's "Project Runway" replacement "The Fashion Show" are the same - near-impossible challenges, team projects, judges wandering through asking questions while looking concerned (minus the elegant Tim Gunn "elbow hold and two fingers on the cheek" pose), runway showdown, and tense elimination round. The judging panel formula is also basically the same - gay designer + useless idiot + aging fashion powerbitch + guest judge. The exception being that the Tim Gunn figure actually sits on the judging panel at the end, instead of handing the baton to another designer.

For a "knockoff" it wasn't half bad - and it had a few subtle differences that gave it an edge in terms of charm - first and foremost, Mr. Isaac Mizrahi. He's hilarious but kind, and he seems genuinely engaged in the process. He's not just there to zing the designers about their final product Kors-style. To compensate for his lack of entertaining cruelty, I forsee Mizrahi treating us to some emotional breakdowns in the later episodes during judging.

Watching Project Runway I always found myself yelling "what the f*ck do you know? You model mall underwear!" whenever Heidi shared her opinions on design. I feel the same level of disbeleif and annoyance whenever Kelly Rowland opens her over-glossed lips. Seriously? You're a Destiny's Child leftover. Interchangeable with any Go-Go member that isn't Belinda Carlisle. Nobody cares what you think!

So how is The Fashion Show different? For one, the contestants seem genuine. Over it's 5 seasons Project Runway producers fell into a Real World-style casting format where you could clearly see who was filling the shoes of which contestant from the previous season.
"He's supposed to be the Jay, and he's the new Santino..." and so on.
It got old, and turned me off to the show in the end. On a whole, The Fashion Show's contestants are far more likeable and seem to be less flamboyant. That is, with the exception of a 40 year old Guatemalan elf-monster that calls himself Merlin (pictured at right in an equestrian Star Trek uniform of his own design), who is nothing short of disgusting in every way.

The sad part? I'm not yet convinced The Fashion Show cast is of the same caliber of design skill as past PR casts, but that remains to be seen. So far they have called silk harem pants, tube skirts and super-short bolero jackets must have pieces...

The Fashion Show is on Bravo Thursdays at 10 p.m.
Watch episode 1 HERE on Hulu.