Tiger's Mistress Too Good For Coach

Tiger Woods' former #1 mistress, Rachel Uchitel refused to fly from NYC to L.A. because she couldn't get a seat in first class. Uchitel, was supposed to attend the premiere of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, in which she co-stars....Well, she is a high-class whore after all!

Fire Ball

Over the weekend, an unidentified golfer's routine swing in the rough, struck a rock and the impact caused a spark, which set off a blaze that eventually covered 25 acres, according to a rep at Shady Canyon Golf Course....Wow, now that's what I call a heat stroke!

Tiger's Injured

Tiger Woods exited Golf's players championship tournament on Saturday, stating he's suffering from a bulging disk....well, we know he's not telling a lie, because all of his mistresses said the same!

TIger Does 69

Tiger Woods finished the Masters Tournament in a tie for fourth place, with a score of 69.... something tells me that's the closest he's gotten to sex since that ole' faithful day in November, let's just hope he used a condom this time!

Don't Speak

Tiger Woods' publicist gave him a list of dos and donts when speaking with the media this weekend during the Masters Tournament .....I wonder which list "Damn, that hole was tight" landed on!

Speaking of Woods

Tiger Woods new NIKE commercial started airing this week, and I must say he looks pretty miserable in the ad....I guess he realizes he can't "Just Do It" anymore!

Tiger and the Back Hole

Joslyn James, Tiger Woods' ex-porn star mistress, made an appearance on the Howard Stern Sirius radio show yesterday to discuss her three year affair with Tiger. Joslyn revealed that Tiger loved anal sex, and ATM.....if this dude went back to a wife that he doesn't even love, after finding a chick that's down with ATM, he's not only the greatest golfer, but the dumbest one too!

Shout Out Time

A huge shout out to Howard Stern, for the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant. There are very few gold moments in broadcasting, such as, Michael Jackson's moonwalk, OJ Simpson's bronco chase, Whitney Houston's "Hell to the No" moment, and now the Tiger Woods' Mistress Beauty Pageant. If you don't subscribe to Sirius satellite, you "sirius-ly" need to, because this contest will rerun all weekend and it was AWESOME! Thank you Howard Stern, for having the creative balls to produce radio gold. It was hilarious to learn how much of a cheap, anal hunting, role playing, wanted to bring another man in the bedroom low-life Tiger Woods really is...yup, it was that good!

On To The Next One

A-Rod has dumped another girl since hitting the dating scene after his divorce, once again he felt the chick was too clingy...Tiger Woods should take lessons from STRAY-Rod!

It's My Blog and I Can Get On A Soap Box if I Wanna...Soapbox if I Wanna!

Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, nice mea culpa, but if I catch him apologizing again, he'll be running from my 9' iron next. It's ENOUGH already! I'm so sick of everyone carrying on like the man murdered someone, he just f*cked a few broads, who consented...I mean really? What's the big deal, we all have flaws...is it because Tiger had 17 flaws, all with blonde hair and blue eyes? It hasn't been this much outrage over filmmaker, Roman Polanski, who drugged and raped an underage child, or Charlie Sheen, who shot one girlfriend, and threatened to kill his wife. Oh, and don't give me that lame excuse about Charlie Sheen not portraying himself as a role model, so he isn't held to the same standards, because I know a lot of rappers who don't portray themselves as role models either, but they sure as hell wouldn't be working on CBS' "Three and a Half Men" after shooting someone. Do you want to know why?...because it's hard to film that show from prison!



Speaking of being a role model, did I miss the Tiger Woods "I am a Role Model" commercial? I only recall seeing the "I am Tiger Woods" ad, so if the public feels mislead, blame the ridiculous media, because we're talking about a f*cking golfer, Role Models for people who watch golf died in 1912.



Wow, how times have changed, a public apology for sleeping with 17 bimbos...you know, that use to be called a good month. "That's What She Said"

Mistress Upset

One of Tiger Woods ex mistresses, Jamie Jungers released her own statement, stating she's upset because she was really in love with the golfer, and doesn't want to be known as a home wrecker....oh, poor thing. I wonder if endorsement wrecker works better for her?

Press Conference Day

Tiger Woods is set to speak to the media today during a well staged press conference, where he will not take any questions..... ah shucks, not even this one, "Hi Tiger, I'm Chalaire from 'That's What She Said,' can you tell my readers....of all the holes you landed your balls near, which did you enjoy the most?"

Tiger Takes a Run

Tiger Woods seen jogging around his neighborhood after sex rehab....I guess it's true, sex does burn calories!

New Tiger Woods Insurance

The loss of investments that companies encountered due to the Tiger Woods sex scandal, has led companies to obtain insurance that protect them from such celebrity scandals in the future....hmmmm, Tiger Insurance- when white people turn their backs on you!

Sex Rehab

National Enquirer scored the first pictures of Tiger Woods at a sex rehab clinic in Hattiesburg, Mississippi. According to one sex therapist, the first thing that Tiger must do while in therapy, is pick a word or quote that immediately curbs his taste for sex....hmmm, how bout' "lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground, get em' up" General Larry Platt!

Sex Addict

Rumor has it that Tiger Woods has checked in to a rehab facility in Wickenburg, Arizona for the treatment of sex addiction in order to save his marriage.....I hate to break the news, but the way to treat your man for sex addiction is to have sex with him!

Year In Review

This is my favorite time of year, reviewing the events that intrigued us in the past year. It's also my first Year in Review, so bare with me, as I take this opportunity to come across as a "real" journalist, by sticking with the absolute facts in reviewing the year in pop culture news. Here goes....

Sound of the Year- Boom Boom Pow, the hit heard round the world!


Worst Parents of the Year- Forcing your kid to lie about balloon activity, then watching him blow chunks on national TV while you continue an interview!


Biggest Maury Povich Moment- Asians can be gangsta' too...Jon Gosselin lifting money from his kid's bank account to spend on his new girlfriend!


Worst Advice From Your Agent- Paula Abdul thinking she could play hard ball with American Idol...Straight Up now tell me, how does it feel to make the dumbest career move of all time?


Best Celebrity Impersonation- Chris Brown and Rihanna took Ike and Tina Turner to the next level...I've never seen such a dead on interpretation!



Biggest Shocker- Kanye West hasn't had a turrets moment in the last 3 months!



Biggest TV Program- Michael Jackson news coverage...reruns, on demand, PBS, whatever outlet was showing it, the world was glued!


Best Hairstyle- Now, this was hard, so I declared a tie...I couldn't decide between the alien or the spaceship!


Biggest Word- Unfriend, may have made it into the New Oxford American Dictionary, but there's nothing like hearing the word "teabagger" come out of the mouths of legitimate newscasters. I brace myself for a set of balls lowering onto Larry King's face each time!


Biggest Waste of Time- Tiger Woods leaving a voicemail for his mistress, Jamiee Grubbs, to hurry up and erase her name from her voicemail.... Did he not realize he had to call 16 other hoes!


Proudest Moment of the Year....In the all white state of Massachusetts, black Harvard professor, Henry Louis Gates Jr., had only been arrested once... Talk about beating the odds!


Most Anticipated News Story For 2010- After banging more than 16 freaks without condoms...forget steroid testing, Tiger Woods HIV results are what I'm waiting for!



The Absolute Biggest Moment of 2009- Having a President who not only knows how to spell and achieve a Nobel Peace Prize....but he can also pronounce it!



That's What She Said!

Jessica is Suing Star Magazine

Jessica Simpson is fuming over claims Star Magazine has made that she was linked to adulterer Tiger Woods. Jessica's publicist released this statement:

"Literally the only thing that's true in the story is the fact that they met. It was a quick meeting, and they posed for a photo together - that was it."

Good for you Jessica, someone should stop Star Magazine from spreading lies. I mean come on ....Tiger Woods into fat chicks is as ridiculous as saying he dated black women and midgets!

Miss Piggy Speaks

The vivacious Miss Piggy taped an episode of The Wendy Williams Show, which will air Friday, and the swine had this to say about Tiger Woods:

"My man is nothing like Tiger. I just want to say, he would never do anything untoward moi, but, if he did, you can rest assured there'd be a hole in one, and he'd be the one!"....

She then plugged her latest album, Memoirs of An Imperfect Angel, and started bragging about her husband, Nick Cannon's new radio gig!

Best Athlete

Tiger Woods of golf is the biggest deal in golf, and has now been named "Athlete of the Decade" by members of the Associated Press...well, there's no argument that he's the biggest swinger of the decade!